Looking For That Special Someone? Try These Sites....

Conventional wisdom tells us there’s someone for everyone.  And with the power of the Internet, single people are no longer relegated to cruising bars, clubs, or similar haunts looking for dates and companionship.  According to recent studies, more than a third of recent marriages in the USA started online.  A little bit of digging and a determined single will encounter a treasure trove of dating sites:  from the “bold, scientific approach” of eHarmony to the all-encompassing Match.com (which claims to have pioneered Internet dating).  But what if you are a little more, shall we say, discriminating in your tastes? Even with the power of the Internet, it’s not always easy to find “the one”.   Not to worry, there really is a dating site for everyone.  

NaturistPassion.com:  Clothes too restrictive? Looking to date someone a bit more “free”? Naturistpassion is the world's best and largest relationship site for nudists, naturists and anyone else who enjoys a natural, nude,naked, clothing free lifestyle.  

UniformDating.com:  All right, we get it.  People in uniforms are hot…

DateALittle.com and TallFriends.com:  When 5’10 isn’t enough or 4 feet is just right.  Why not engage in a sanctioned bit of heightism? If height is your thing or looking for that oh so special height, these are the best places to go.  

MillionaireMatch.com, Wealthymen.com and Sugardaddy.com:  Cheap, tawdry, classless, gold digging? Say what you want, but at least these websites are upfront about it.    

WomenBehindBars.com and MeetanInmate.com:  With the success of Netflix’s Orange is the New Black, I’d be interested to know if these sites haven’t seen a serious upswing in users.  I bet there’s a better than average chance at hooking up here.   Unfortunately (?), the site doesn't list what the offenses were to land them in prison, so you are kind of taking your chances.

 Furrymate.com and pounced.org:  Not familiar with a “plushie” or "furry"? You should probably look it up elsewhere (warning: it's not very PG).

ClownDating.com:  As if clowns weren’t scary enough, there’s a dating site for them.  Even the tag line gives me creeps:  “Everybody loves a clown…..let a clown love you.”  That could be the tag line for any number of horror films.

MulletPassions.com:  The mighty mullet!! Business in the front, party in the back! No more shame or judgment over your love of this classic redneck staple.  Bonus points for having a picture of the seldom seen “fem mullet”, the rarest and most elusive of all mullets.  

MyFreeImplants.com:  An investment opportunity like no other.  "Invest in breasts" it says at My Free Implants.com, where wealthy men can donate money for females to get the breast implants they've always dreamed of.  With the added bonus that said females may just want to start a relationship with provider.  On second thought, perhaps this belongs with SugarDaddy.com and the like.

SeaCaptainDate.com:  Tired of having only the ocean as a mistress? I’ll let site explain:  “My mistress may be the sea, but the thing is, that’s just an expression. There ain’t really no sex involved.” - Caleb’s Testimonial Video.  Glad we got some clarification on that.   

  

BeautifulPeople.com and DarwinDating.com:  “Sick of dating websites filled with ugly, unattractive, desperate fatsos?” they shout.  As if you probably didn’t feel bad enough already, these sites are here to twist the knife a little deeper.  You have to pass a photo screening before you can even begin to make a profile.  Here’s a brief list of what’s not allowed:

“Hair in the wrong places on women” 

“Mid-digital hair”

“Overuse of bright blue eyeshadow”

“Weird pubic hair”

“Red hair and too many freckles”

And much more.  

ScientificMatch.com:  For a paltry $2000 lifetime membership, this site will find you a match based on physical chemistry. Their CLIA/ASH-accredited lab analyzes your supplied DNA sample to find that perfect someone.  The site claims there are multiple benefits to a DNA comparison, including (but not limited to) you’ll love the natural body fragrance of your matches, a greater chance of a more satisfying sex life, higher rates of fertility, and a greater chance of having healthier children with more robust immune systems.

I’ve saved the best and most head scratching for last:

Amish-Online-Dating.com:  I'm not entirely sure how this works. Who knew the Amish had high-speed Internet connections? Are Amish people even allowed to use computers? Regardless, Amish-Online-Dating is a website that showcases the Amish steps into the 21st century