Surviving the Big “Shutdown” And Other Random Thoughts.

Unless you've had your head buried in the sand for the last few days, you know the United States government is “shut down”.  I use this term loosely because many government employees are, thankfully, still working and getting paid.  Not surprisingly, the politicians responsible for this are, of course, getting paid. “Essential” employees are still on duty as well as parts of the government that don’t fall under the spending in the budget process.  While I may delve into an occasional rant, this blog was never really intended for political postings.  But this shutdown is such good entertainment, I can’t pass it up.

Despite the palpable fear in the air I ventured out this morning and headed towards Atlanta. Everything seemed normal-I got up, fed the cat, let the dogs out, brought them in, my shower worked, my toilet flushed (too bad it didn't dump out in DC), still had to pay federal gas tax at the pump, traffic was flowing, street lights were on.  I discovered, rather shockingly, that local police are still working, as the nice officer was pretty insistent that I had to wear clothes while venturing outside of the house.  Still, I'm not taking chances and wanted to record my thoughts for posterity.  I figure the rioting won't start until tomorrow, when a full day without government has passed.    

I am not going to get into a rampaging "Who caused what" type of blog entry; there are more than enough of those to read.   Neither will I get into which side is to blame for it.  There is plenty of blame to go around and there has been for a long time, regardless of political party.  Realistically, the issue should never have remained unresolved until October 1.  Responsible politicians would not create an artificial crisis nor would they have made a political shell game out of necessary decisions.  What I am far more interested in is simple observations, jokes, humor, thoughts, about the shutdown. For example, I thought of a “sequester” joke:

"The zombies were out in full force this morning in Arlington, VA, looking for brains. They were heading for Capitol Hill, so it looks like they’re gonna starve.”

See what I mean?

Shockingly, in spite of the shutdown, I feel no different.  Perhaps the shutdown is like radiation or carbon monoxide - you can’t see it, smell it, or feel it.  This is the first shutdown since the 90’s and, if one is to believe it, Bill and Monica developed a relationship that would become history during this time.  I wonder if my fellow Atlantans have ransacked the grocery store, stocking up on milk, eggs, and bread? These are usually the first things that fly off the shelves during any crisis.  No matter what happens, people here need to be able to make french toast! Or some other "milk bread" sandwich.    I believe there is a state (or at least city) law that makes raiding these items from the grocery store mandatory in times of crisis. 

While we are on the topic of shutdown impact, media seems to be obsessed with the fact that national parks and some tourist sites will be shutdown.  I imagine there will be an explosion of stories that sound like this:   families who saved for years go to see the cute, cuddly bears and wolves in Jelly stone Park only to be denied.  Cue the kids holding stuffed bears/wolves with tears running down their cheeks.  In at least one case, this may be a benefit to mankind in general, as a planned KKK rally in Gettysburg has now been cancelled.  CBS reports that we can’t watch the National Zoo “Panda Cams".  And Fort Hancock in New Jersey seems destined to be overrun by poison ivy, as ivy eating goats now find themselves out of a job.   

Apparently, at this point, this is the only real impact the media can find.  Of course, being the good alarmists they are, they see fit to keep reminding me that it could get a million times worse at literally any minute. And then, that’s when things will get REALLY tough and then we REALLY get screwed.  And once that happens, it signifies the complete collapse of everything and our society will plunge into chaos, spin out of control, or whatever other cliche seems fit to use.  I keep waiting on the media to start predicting when the power goes off and the riots start in Detroit, DC, NYC, and LA.  I want to have fresh popcorn ready.

I can't help but wonder what other, less reported effects this shutdown may have.  Will Voyager I turn around and head back to Earth? Or does it park itself and power down in the darkness of space? What about PBS? Have they been forced to give Big Bird the ax? It would be traumatic, I think, for children to see him dumpster diving for birdseed.  The shutdown may even impact America's one true religion of football, as the Air Force-Navy and Army-Boston games set for this weekend could be cancelled.

Lest you think I’m heartless, I sympathize with the impacted employees -Good conscientious people, not useless bureaucrat hacks.  It is a serious situation and will have large consequences for many people. The fact that our elected “leaders” have gotten to this point should be enough to make any rational person sit down and weep. 

Aw hell, spoke too soon…..I just beheld a pale horse and upon him a pale rider heading toward I-285.  I will continue to hold out as long as I can.